Ah, the drama! It's gone temporarily and for a set amount of time, hence the concept of a sabbatical. I WILL come back. I will come back STRONGER. I will one day find myself blogging about things like caloric calculations for race nutrition, ferritin levels based on altitude, heart rate training on progression runs, etc. etc. But for now, I'll battle the depression and the loneliness and the frustration I feel when the thing that has accompanied me through all of life's ups and downs since I was 13 years old is gone.
Back to my sabbatical: much like my friends who have long bucket lists for their paid breaks after years of hard work and commitment (generally to well-paying financial firms or fancy tech companies), here's a snapshot of what I'm hoping to achieve from now through the end of 2014:
- Learn enough basic French to not feel paralyzed in Paris
- Go to Paris
- Invest in culinary instruction (like, more than just buying nicer knives)
- Volunteer (but not with kids ... I need a break from kids)
- Learn to knit (have you SEEN my grandma's homemade Christmas stockings?!)
- Enroll in a history course that really tickles my fancy (yes, Husband, probably something involving Tudor England)
- Spiritual reading, folks (even Mother Teresa experienced the dark night of the soul)
- Meditate (what does this even mean?)
- Spend as much as I possibly can on private Pilates sessions
- Achieve a toned upper body with some measurable proof ("Can I really do 10 chin-ups?" vs. "Can I have arms like Jennifer Anniston?" ... I'm achievement-oriented)
- Take calcium/magnesium/vitamin D regularly
- Commit to daily physical therapy exercises and bone stimulation
- Blog about it all
I have always wanted to blog. I could say I never had the time, but the truth is I never really felt I had anything worthwhile to say. A fractured pelvis doesn't change that. I have nothing more inspiring or witty or instructional or noble to say as I sit here now, hooked up to a (ridiculously expensive, insurance-covered) machine that apparently generates an ultrasonic frequency ideal for stimulating bone growth. What my broken body has provided though is a newly-formed motive. I write to process this experience. To find answers. To tap into a creative energy that can't currently express itself through racing. To distract me, yes, but also to evolve. Hopefully my pubic ramus won't be the only thing growing this year.
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